Saturday, June 15, 2013

Bug-Eyed Sulley Needs To Stop!

One of my favorite Pixar characters is James P. Sullivan, the big furry blue monster better known as Sulley, sometimes known as Kitty, but always known as lovable.  Voiced by John Goodman, Sulley brought a huge amount of emotional depth and warmth to Monsters Inc.  In just under a week, Sulley will be on the big screen again, this time as a slacker college student attending Monsters University.  Though a different take on the character, I'm sure Sulley will still prove to be an endearing presence on the big screen.  Everybody loves Sulley, right?

So why the heck are all the toys of Sulley so gosh darn ugly?  In particular, I'm referring to his eyes.  For whatever reason, every toy of Sulley insists on giving him big bulging bug-eyes that invariably look terrible.

See this is what Sulley is supposed to look like:
 There, see?  He has nice cartoony eyes.  They are friendly and inviting.  They aren't pressed together, nor are they perfectly circular, nor are they bulging out of his face.  

Now let's look at some toys released back with the original film in 2001:
Yeesh.  I actually had this toy way back when.  In fact I still have it.  And he still stares ahead with his big round soulless eyes.  Let's look at another:
Ah, isn't he cute with his big round puppy-dog eyes?  No, I didn't think so either.  Maybe another toy can do better?  Let's see:
AAAHHH!!! Uh...I guess this is Sulley right after electrifying himself.  Or he just finished blow drying his hair and he's really happy about it.

Okay, so that was 2001.  That was twelve years ago.  Toys have come a long way when in comes to being on-model in recent years.  Just take a look at how far the Toy Story toys have come over the years.  Last year Disney re-released Monsters Inc to theaters in 3D and a few new toys were released to go with it.  Let's see how twelve years of progress has benefited Sulley:
Oh, come on!  That's the worse one so far!  What happened here?  Not only are his eyes bugging out, but they're all pressed together and he's cross-eyed!  Did somebody use the scream-extractor from the first movie on him?  Good grief.

Okay, so maybe when it comes to the original film, they struck out across the board.  But Monsters University is right around the corner.  Surely Disney is planning to sell lots of toys to promote it, so I'm sure they pulled out all the stops to make Sulley look as good as possible...
...oh.  Uh, nevermind.  Are there any Monsters University Sulley toys that don't have big bulging eyes?  Anyone?  Anyone!?!
Uh...okay.  I mean, yeah, he doesn't have bug-eyes but I think that's the only thing that looks good about this.  Anything else?
YIPE.  You know what?  Forget it.  I don't want a toy of Sulley anymore.  I'm just going to go hide under the covers now and hope Sulley doesn't find me...


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